silence invades , my shadow is lost
with stale feelings imagination is gone
staring into a malodorous future
preparing for life , becoming withdrawn
with all played out and nothing left
contemplation’s turn to separation
imminent speculations being deft
all necessary for my salvation
with all of the essence
she enters the room
like fresh roses in bloom
chants are all fluid
as soothing to my ear
thoughts of her in past
always brings a tear
Dark, She is the mind of yours.
Icy chill of thought becomes
A steely shimmer.
Behold a glimmer in the black -
A flash of grey, that even glows
In show against the hallowed dark of you.
And that is why you scream in jarring tones
‘I have no heart for joy!
My white and brittle bones have died’
You cried in dark and fractured moans.
So now the Queen of Black you writhe,
Whence from dark of shade
That honed an evil form afar
In curse of me you bade
‘I, the wave shall rape the shore!
Violence will there be in glares I’ll throw
At all who prey, and more:
A dark and fetid sea I’ll bleed.
And now, the bitter tinge
And bleak of waste
That eyed the death of once your soul
Will be here forever!
Indeed you tell:
‘The cramping pain is here!
Eternal spasm, infinite chasm,
The Devil’s chaplain plays!
We’ll climax in a tortured glee
As all my love decays.’
I’m hitting a real rough patch lately , being consumed by total silence and loneliness ….I have so many problems in the social world. I seem to be having trouble finding a place in this world . I sometimes feel I have done all I am going to in this life and have nowhere to turn, it’s ridiculous because of the support I have in place but still I feel this way.
Some of the friendships I have seem to be in place only because of the situation I’m in , I feel if things being different , my social life would also be different. I also may be over thinking some things . I still see how some people act towards me and I see them in other situations as they are totally different towards others. True friendship is a great thing and as of now I feel alone in my journey onward.
I truly need a direction to turn in ,to just put all I have towards it , and get past these feelings of destitution and despair . While a lot of people say it’s ok to be lonely ……It sure doesn’t feel good sometimes.