Waiting for existence
I fell back several times
Side way vision only
Never hearing chimes
Waking from this ugliness
Like putting glasses on
Seeing all I’ve missed before
A picture freshly drawn
Seen this face a thousand times
Never knowing what was real
Is this the way my life can be
Or memory’s will they steal
Sometimes our best is in front of us
Other-times we bend in shame
I’m looking so much closer now
For me there’s no one to blame
I never had an extreme thought before that night. I stood like a statue in a winter storm, a blustery whirlwind of thoughts racing around me as I couldn’t move.
That morning was like no other , every ritual was followed as any other day. The drive to work had appeared to take for ever but was also event free. I parked in my usual spot and exited the car ,as I turned to walk into the building a women ran up to me grabbing my arm pulling me between two cars. Expressions of fear emitted from her shaking body. Her tear stained face looked as if she hadn’t slept that night. I was looking in all directions for her attackers but there wasn’t a soul around . As I looked back she had disappeared, freakishly I looked around but didn’t see a thing. I rushed into the building telling no one of my sights.
I strolled in the doors and things inside were different. The smell was of burnt electricity , almost gut wrenching I covered my mouth and nose as I slowed to a crawl spying in every direction. I moved slowly down the hallway in the direction of the elevator . I peered in one office door to see if a friend had made it in . The office was well lit as I drifted slowly in . I called out a name but got nothing in return. A loud crash spilled out of the hallway as I turned to look a voice called my name from the office across the hall. My skin crawling I edged towards the door…..
To be continued ….
Thanks for reading , Please stay tuned for more…
I’ve been thinking here lately about new year resolutions and how we put in needed stress on ourselves . We often shoot for the stars and wish upon unrealistic goals that can’t or won’t be met. For me it’s one day at a time with a few short term goals… It keeps my stress level a lot lower.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about lately is regret. I hate it when people say I have no regrets in the way I lived my life…… Well …. I guess they have lived a perfect life without bad decisions . I do have regrets … I have had things such as relationships I held dearly that ended due to my actions or bad decision making… This in my opinion is one of the hardest things to get over …. For some of my regrets I don’t think I ever will
In a snow filled sky
My dreams are
To loose regrets
I in the past year or two have been starting my life over …pretty much from nothing. I have done so years ago but this time being older and the job market, economy being bad it has been much harder. Patience is something I’ve never really had as now I am much better but …..it seems I’m waiting for things that may never happen again.
Ok so here it is ..I have lived in a different place for several years , moving back home things have changed some ….people being different, loosing contact with others and well you know friends moving on with their lives . After maybe a year I thought to myself YEAH…Ill go online and check out the dating sites and see if there are any people I know in the area. I set a profile on two different sites, first of all if you don’t know these sorts of sites …they are filled with bait and switch people. I mean most that have a profile have either photos 10 years old or pictures depicting something far from what they really are. I’m not sure why anyone would put themselves out there for rejection like that then complain about it.
I talked to a few people I have never met being there wasn’t anyone on these sites I knew. In maybe a month I agreed to meet one of the best ( I thought ) that I had spoken too. Well……first of all one of the questions on the profile was …Do you have a car… a simple question to answer as this person answered yes…. I show up to meet this person at her house , which is probably not a good idea for a first time . I asked why she didn’t want to meet in a public place…she told me she didn’t have a license and the car wasn’t registered …lol but she answered the question correctly….She did have a car… it seems to me if you are truly looking for a “long-term relationship” you would describe yourself as true as one could… or maybe I’m just being petty.
Sooo here we go ….out on a date …there were several things I seen in this person that I didn’t really like a whole lot ….but being the impatient person I was ….I thought compromise is a big value in a relationship and let it go for a while. On our fourth date I just couldn’t “compromise” anymore. I let her know that this wasn’t the relationship I wanted and we both need to move on.
I …the person that thinks into thinks way to much had come to the point that I was just going to be alone for what maybe the rest of my life. After a few weeks I thought of calling this person and maybe giving this another try maybe this was all me and I need to just go with the flow so to speak….and then it came to me ….you wouldn’t by a pair of shoes on sale that you always wanted one size to small …so why would you try to make a relationship fit just because its something you want…. I hope one and all has a Merry Christmas and I truly hope all of you have a great and prosperous new year…
As I was reading Facebook looking for information from friends on news of the storm .. I was really put back at what I seen. More than half of the people I knew were complaining about the power situation . I thought to myself …wow.. these professionals have been assembled from all over New England to come here and assist our own with repairing the damage in a precise manner . These people risk it all to insure power is repaired at the soonest time possible. They are the unsung hero’s of this the worst storm in a decade in northern New York. We all need to applaud the job they do for us all.
Some things with take a lot longer to repair…. Damage to trees with take years to repair… An ice storm will decimate the lands..as I’m writing this the freezing rain moves in to the third day. Trees have been pushed beyond their limits , weak limbs have already fallen off . Walking around outside the only sound you hear is snapping and cracking of tree limbs, also the constant noise coming from the fallen branches that just can’t hold on any further. The Ice being so thick on top of the snow one can walk on top without falling through. I can only imagine what has happen to the animals in the woods as all food has been encapsulated in a thick layer of this frozen precipitation..
An ice storm is such a delicate thing.. conditions on more than one level have to be perfect, now for an Ice event of this magnitude to happen is just a freak of nature..
Photo courtesy www.accuweather.com
Photo courtesy www.accuweather.com
we have almost two inches of ice on some spots…an inch to an inch and a half on most trees
Check out this link it is from Canton New York ..a town about 11 miles from me . New York Ice Storm Leaves Thousands Without Power….. …http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/22/ice-storm-new-york-vermont_n_4488692.html
Ice storm emergency continues across the North Country – See more at: http://blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org/inbox/2013/12/21/north-country-braces-for-ice-storm/