4 comments on “Monday April 23…weekends over

  1. I can relate to you thoughts here. The trying to control people and things so they saw me the way I wanted needed them to. Today, clean and sober, I understand that my fear that people would see me as less than, was in fact one of the reasons I used. Now, not using and drinking and with some time doing a bit of soul searching, I finally have no more secrets. No more fear that I will be discovered. Finally I am free to be who and what I really am. I do what feels right in my heart and not because I am concerned, at all, about how others think about what I do. Notice I said in my heart there, not in my mind, the way I did when I was using. Under the influence, I decided what was right based solely on what needed to be right so I could keep using.

    Doing what’s right in my heart has required me to make alot of changes. I have had to do some hard things that have confused and hurt a few people. It was not my intent to do so of course, but no longer living my life to impress and please people, I discovered that some of those people were not that interesting to me. And surprising to me, it was not always the ones I thought it was going to be.

    Good luck with your sobriety journey!

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