It’s an awesome sunny day here , as we now only need the temps to rise a little for a perfect day…. not really sure how I feel today. The way I have been feeling here lately is hard to describe. I am still not feeling sincere on all aspects of my recovery , as I’m not really sure how an addict is supposed to feel in recovery. It seems that the small things in life, like looking up at the stars has been lost. The urgency of drug use has seemed to take control of this part of life.
In my group session yesterday we spoke of getting to know each other in our lesson. The main question answered in this group was about recovery not being a solo activities. We as addicts need others to help in our recovery efforts . We were given a personalized worksheet to fill out that had several questions about personal experiences, beliefs, and traditions. I do believe this group was a giant success, because there has been separate days of very low involvement from all in the group. This day all participants seem to unload different stresses that were on their minds. I do certainly feel closer to all that are participating in this group.
One of the questions that really caught my eye, was the role religion, spirituality plays in our lives. When asked this question I for one, that I believe in a higher power, there is a higher power involved in my life. The differences in answers to this question not only prove the different levels of recovery of the participants, but the total different ways of thinking that we all have. I do have specific feelings on faith and how we all approach this faith in our own ways, as we all have our own special way of thinking.
Today seems to be one of those days that I feel I should be further along in my recovery. I know in my head that today’s one of those days I’m going to have to think about slowing down again, as recovery cannot be forced or hurried. I have started a small schedule of my days to help with a small portion of direction in my life. It has helped immensely, and my vocabulary has gotten better thanks to the vocabulary class I’m taking.
I do hope everyone has a nice weekend, I feel kind of empty.
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- SJP and Her Twins Spend a Sunny Day Eating Popsicles in the Park (popsugar.com)