Anxiety Disorders Association of America (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It was a quiet morning , it started as normal as any other . The feelings of desolation continued , but seemed to be getting a little better. It’s an uncanny awareness to be around people who are so trusting and yet feel alone still . As the clock drew closer, it was almost time to go , the feelings of anxiousness covered me like a pouring rain . Who was I going to run into during this venture to the outside world ? Was everything going to go smoothly ? As these thoughts filled my head the rain it seemed, felt harder . Then I stop,.. and think , maybe its just urges for a cigarette , but then again it may not be . The clock still gets closer , as my nervousness gets worse . As I look forward to seeing a few people , what else would I have to endure for this to happen . Is it going to be worth the problems that arise ? Maybe I shouldn’t go , it’s not real important anyway , but if I don’t this tribulation , this illness will win for sure. I’ll just sit and think of good things that will happen to me if I keep pushing forward . I sure wish I knew if this was just an urge for smoking or anxiety , maybe I’ll start tomorrow and just relax today. I don’t really need to go today anyway it’s not important. I look up at the clock…. , and its time to go .
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timzauto.... in search of the blond haired kid 
I love your courage – hang in there – one day at a time. You are amazing!
Hugs,
Jane
Thanks for the support Jane …xo
Man you did it!!!…on this day you defeated the bastard…on this day you won!!!…that is strong…nobody can take that success away from you…it is yours forever!!!…and that is awesome!!!
Seem a little over the top? Well it isn’t. Those are exactly the same words I used when I was overcoming my personal demons. Were they the same as yours? No. But the end result was the same…they wanted to hold me back. For over 20 years i was a professional criminal (I have the multiple mug shots to prove it). Every waking moment was spent thinking of every conceivable way of making money without having to work for it. It was all I thought about, and I was good at it. But I changed. I learned how to reroute my way of thinking…took some time, but I did it. Now when I walk into someone’s home or a business I am no longer looking at entrances and exits, locks, traffic flow, alarms, videos, light positioning…you get the idea.
BTW…thanks for following my blog…I hope you will always find value in what I write.
Be encouraged!
Thanks for the words …look forward to your blog as well..
I am proud of you, Tim. Every day free of addiction is a victory. XO
Thanks for visiting and following my blog 🙂
Your welcome …you have some very nice work , looking forward to new posts..
Thank You Very Much. I hope you never get bored for a visit and comment. 🙂
Hang in there, a wise person was once overheard saying “one minute more, one hour, even one day and it will get better. I use this mantra to push through BS in life and go about LIVING….
Yes, that is a hopeless feeling, but you can quit smoking if you just decide that’s it! I know I did it, granted medicine helped, but it still took a decision to quit that wouldn’t waver! I know how hard it is for people with anxiety, I just wish they knee cigarettes intensify the emotions you’re feeling! Now that I’ve quit I have my confidence back! Great blog this is important!