One comment on “Coma….?

  1. I don’t think the good feelings you’re having are false at all, you’re starting to experience the good things that come with getting sober. It keeps getting’s like taking a breath of fresh air. Your senses are coming back stronger than I know what you mean about the burnt toast, I had a similar experience with the smell of microwave popcorn. It’s definitely a good thing, and the next time you’re in the grocery store, if they have a flower section, go smell a few, sounds silly but you’ll be amazed how strong they are, you might walk away smiling. 🙂

    As far as dealing with the feelings while you were on the drugs..the drugs numb emotions to the point we don’t notice the important things in life that we should. When we’re using, we’re in our ‘own reality’..and screw everybody else’s reality..the drugs tend to make us feel like life’s better than it actually is..and that kind of self medicating always has negative consequences. It wasn’t that you couldn’t deal with feelings before this, it was that you were choosing not to, and choosing a toxic buffer for them instead. So the false feelings aren’t what you’re feeling now, the false feelings are what you had when you were ON the drugs. I hope that makes sense..

    I know thinking about going into rehab can seem a bit scary, but remember they are very good at helping you with those fears. It’s a sober environment, you won’t have temptation around you, and being around people like you (us)..can be and is almost always a tremendous help. It’s a relief to talk to people that understand some of the same anxiety and fears that you have, and you’ll be amazed when you hear someone telling you what they’ve been through..and it sounds just like your own experience being repeated back to you. It can be very empowering and a great motivator, you’ll learn from others just like they can learn from you.

    I’ve seen others posting about some of the continuing education programs and classes available, I think that’s a really good idea too. Those programs usually offer almost every class under the sun, you can find things like woodworking, pottery, mechanical things..all kinds of choices, little something for everyone. It’s important to take a little time and do something for yourself that you enjoy to fill some of the time. I did this as well, and I didn’t know what to do at first, so I went to the local craft store and bought crayons and markers..and a cool coloring book. Laugh if you want.. sounds goofy to me too, but it filled time, I enjoyed it..and I knew it was ME enjoying it..not the me that was numbed in a fog of a false reality. Point is to take time and do something you enjoy, and those classes are an excellent idea. When you get a chance I hope you look into it.

    You’re doing an amazing job Tim, you’ve come a long way already, keep going! 🙂

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