As these days go by ..I wonder about how I was thinking..I feel so good now…Is it a false feeling..? I feel as if I was in a coma and have been awakened ..I have missed so much of my family’s accomplishments as well as downfalls. I’m dealing with these feelings now , It’s a challenge don’t get me wrong . I have the strength to Face these feelings sober as I never have been able to do this . I have renewed hope that my life can exist without the use of drugs . So I sit here thinking why couldn’t I deal with feelings before this. My only thought on this is , the shallowness of my life ..as I was trying to make my life something it wasn’t . Does this make sense to anybody… ? I think this statement alone warrants the need for a rehab program as they may shed light on some of this garbled up mess.
I have mixed feelings on going to rehab as well. If I will be around people like me , will this hinder my willingness to excel in my own progress..? Will I give in because of outside interference..? These questions may sound crazy ..but they haunt me everyday. I have strength but to what extent am i safe..?
One more thing I have to comment on . My sense of smell seems to have gotten better.. lol ..Those of you who know me well , know i like burnt toast. Well I had no idea how long the odor stayed in the house after making it…. sound dumb …not to me..sounds like improvement .. it keeps getting better day after day. Thanks for reading your support is appreciated.