Today is a new day… I don’t need to use today. It’s a sunny and nice day so far.The first thing I want to say is about morning sickness…I am feeling better everyday in the mornings. I’m not smoking as many cigs throughout the day either . It feels so awesome to get up and not have these feelings.
I do have concerns about not working … At my age I do have things I need and how will I attain these things without income ? I don’t want to be a burden to others .. is there away ..? Should I just go with out ..? I’m not sure how to think about this issue.
This past weekend was very awakening for me . I have actually figured out that I can never return to my past. Some of the people that I was trying to hold on to are not good for me. I have realized that some are in denial about their own problems and can never be apart of my new life. This was very disturbing to me … I handled this with maturity and processed this feelings very well . This negativity that still exists can no longer be apart of my present and future life … I am at peace with my past…
The main breakthrough that I have had is that I have understood why people have said I’m not alone. I have spoken with some friends , very close friends from the past that have been through this same thing … I never knew about this….I was so worried about ridicule towards me and my life style I forgot , I’m not any different from anyone else… a very good friend of mine told me about a month ago … either you can be a rock star or you can get out of that cloud of smoke and come down here with rest of us…. you will make an awesome person… You know who you are that said this and you were right … It’s a great day ..I feel good.