Today is a new day..don’t need to use today ..I have been feeling very good ,other than some mornings that are very anxious. The chantix I’m taking is affecting other areas of me .. don’t know but still not smoking.. I have been working some and that has helped me get my mind balanced ..feels good . I am also getting use to working without the use of drugs or tobacco, which is harder than I thought. I still am having thoughts from the past haunting me …it worries me somewhat , but not putting much energy towards it. I know time is on my side and I guess will wait this out . working on 6 weeks sober and feeling good about that, I do how ever miss in some ways the urgency of my days ..It’s hard to explain but the chase was what kept me busy. Now with all this time and not so much to do..creates the thoughts of the past to come into play.. I am trying to get my days filled with something to do.. getting better slowly .. I do have moments of great loneliness beyond description ..they come and go so fast its crippling . I think this is being created by the chantix..I’m finishing what I have and not taking it any further..That’s the confusing part of this rehabilitation ..I don’t know whats causing what… I’m sure that’s why they say to do one at a time(drugs and cigarettes). I have my appointment for rehab tomorrow at 2pm so I guess we’ll take it from there. People I feel good ..thanks for the continued support..