4 comments on “Friday April 6…springs coming…so stop your cryin

  1. I’m going to try in put my thoughts into words for you, not very good at it though.

    I agree that people don’t like to see other people cry, but I know from person experience that when I need to cry or have to cry I want someone just to hold me, don’t tell me what I should do or how I should feel just let me cry. And I am ashamed to say I have used the saying stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about….After reading you blog today I will make sure I never make that statement again…thanks for letting me see the light.

    You are doing fantastic, just remember that every minute is a new minute and you are the only one who you need to answer too to be happy.

  2. First I am going to say that as I read each post I have comments but just have not taken the time to write them. Often I think of how great of a converversation we will have when you feel you can drop by or give me a call with your thoughts because as you share them here, well you are writing some really great stuff. I plan to go back and catch up on my commenting as I can. One thing I have wanted to point out, or offer as a reminder, is that conditions occur on a spectrum. I don’t think the question is so much “if” others have particular thoughts or feelings but rather to what degree. And then there is also the question of what choices are made such as whether to dismiss the thought or obsess about it; whether a feeling prompts an action and what action.

    Nature versuses nurture also plays a huge part in everything. Our society teaches us that crying in unacceptable for males, should only be done in private and not even discussed. As a female I hated that I would tear up in public because of the judgement I felt was being placed on me as being weak. With time and age that has changed but it took a huge experience that changed who I was to realize its okay that the emotions appear publicly at will. Thoughts are thoughts, feelings are feelings; it is what gives us our own classification – human. Remain concious that the addiction monster has been controlling your thoughts and numbing you from feelings both good and bad. Crying, and all other emotions, are nature. It’s the nurture part that has created the many differences among our species. When I went to college in my 30’s I learned many interesting things in both psychology and sociology classes. (Sociology of the Family, my fav.) So no, it is not just you and I think taking some classes, or at least reading some books, in these areas would serve you well.

    People are most uncomfortable around someone experiencing anger or grief. My guess is that you are experiencing periods of each. Take other life changing events like divorce, loss of a limb, or learning of a life-long disability or illness and you will find a person who has to deal with loss and having to, to one degree or another, start over. Anger is a part of loss just as sadness is and all of these emotions cause us to cry. When you hear someone say “it’s okay” take that as them saying “it’s okay [to cry]’ – because it is. I say if they are too uncomfortable, they can change their behavior and leave rather than you change your behavior and stop crying.

    I believe learning the art of acceptance is a large part of the key to happiness. Acceptance of our lot – the road we have travelled regardless of where that road took us. Acceptance of who we are today, not yesterday or tomorrow. Acceptance of what we do not have control of and acceptance of the responsibility of those things that are in our control.

  3. When I see someone cry…I have been known to cry with them. Pain is real and we all have our own demons to fight. I don’t tell people to stop crying, instead I will sit quietly to see if I’m needed. I have, for various reasons, at different times in my life gone to my car and screamed until I couldn’t anymore, just so I could release the emotions that would allow me to cry.

    Oddly enough, God sent me an angel once – it was a malamute – half wolf and half husky. Nacona was my friend and he would come up, put his paws around me and gold me when I cried,. He taught me that sometimes howling can be very theraputic. You want to experience something magnificent? Go to the mountains where there are wolves and howl into the wind. They will hear your cry and answer. God knows we need comfort, but we humans don’t always do a good job.

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