Age-standardised disability-adjusted life year (DALY) rates from Drug use disorders by country (per 100,000 inhabitants). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Today is a new day . I don’t need to use today . The weather here is atrocious , as it’s snowing and raining . I am having a very confusing day , I know or rather I think I know what I want to do , but scared to put anything in motion due to possible failure . I have failed miserably over and over in my life and can’t take anymore chances .
Addiction is a terrible thing to have on your mind everyday of your life. I get angry with myself at certain times for the complete waste and failure of my past. There have been a variety of problems leading to my life’s failures as relationships , emotional problems , drug addiction etc . I now am thinking soberly and looking back on these failures and wonder , why should I even try again . The likelihood of failure in the future is a bigger possibility for a recovering addict than anybody. I am early in recovery and learning new things daily but some days it doesn’t seem to be worth the bother. I am in my late 4o’s and it seems for the remaining time i do have why bother . I don’t think I can hurt any worse than I do now, weather doing drugs or not. It’s a bad day with thoughts of bad things . I’m trying to deal with emotions I can’t handle without help. I feel inanimate …
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