Feelings of demise still attach themselves to me , I have been sober for almost 4 and a half months . I’m now finding other problems that have been pushing me towards drug abuse to begin with . Several things have been motivating my lifestyle over the years , but the things I’m looking for is what started it all . Relationships for me have changed , living in general is different , my trust in others is non-existent as well as trust held by others for me. I do have a couple of friends I do trust and yes , I’m truly thankful for that. The acquaintances I have found these past few months on WordPress has been overwhelming . I look forward to many more months of writing and sharing my thoughts with all of you as well as reading and sharing yours .
20 lines is a blog that allows us to express our thoughts in short form without judgment . I highly suggest you all join Melissa’s blog with all the fantastic people writing and contributing to the blog. I was scared when I first posted there , but soon learned how well the great people there were such a positive influence . I love writing , and posting daily , as putting my thoughts out sooth my mind .
Now that I’m totally sober , as I said above have changed me completely . I once lived in a circle of people who daily lied to one another because of the jealousy held against someone because they had things the other didn’t . If someone though up a way to get what you had , usually they would stop at nothing to get it . I as the others were used to this way of life , as most see it as a very violent and ludicrous way of living . Like most we come complacent to our surroundings and go blindly throughout our days wandering , for us it was wandering in a haze off drug abuse.
So the surroundings have changed , I’m out of my element stumbling around by myself looking for people who fit the criteria that i do . As most addicts in recovery ( speaking only for myself ) have several problems regarding friendships , finding others that don’t fuel relapse or are just plain negative . Other problems include fear of loneliness that drive relationships that are destructive and ill planned . I feel somewhat scared to go out in public at times , at the same time fear i’m not socializing enough . I just want to give in and return to the way I was , but can’t , I can’t give in . I refuse to let a drug control my actions and life . So I will plunder onward , writing my feelings and reading yours , hoping I find what I’m looking for .
Please remember to like , comment and share…Thanks …timzauto
- prescription drug abuse summary (solomonreardon.typepad.com)
- Study finds medical marijuana has no impact on teen drug abuse (rawstory.com)