Hello to everyone …. It has now been seven months drug free , six months without smoking cigarettes . I wish I could tell you I’ve done this standing on my head , however it has been rather testy at times to say the least . I have returned from a family reunion in Ma , Lake George in Wales to be precise . Everyone had a very good time , including myself . I am finding that I truly am not so indifferent to others , particularly with certain issues of stresses or worries. I have been very anxious in the past , almost to the point of panic when gathering around my family . Mostly due to successes and failures in life ( meaning I have the failures and they have the successes. I was amazed what I seen this past weekend , Maybe being sober and watching everyone else let me see truths that I haven’t seen before. There were several worries and stress driven emotions much worse than I feel at this time . I am truly happy with whom I am , maybe for the first time in my life , more so than most .
I have taken a small break from writing and the internet in general , mainly to search for a balance to incorporate in to my life for relapse prevention. I fully intend on following this to the end of my being . This balance is ( in my mind ) the most important part of my recovery . It will sustain me for future relapse , as well as keeping me happy in a secure and loving relationship. I do have trouble with this balance , it’s just so easy to get my mind in-tangled in things that have no values to me or my future. Also the black and white thinking is another dangerous thing , which I am getting some what better at ( it’s a hard habit to break) . There are a couple of people in my family that really surprised me this past week , as well as a couple i think about on a daily basis. My mom seemed very happy this weekend , happier than I’ve seen in some time.
I have missed many people online as well , I want to say thanks to all that have contacted me interested in my well-being , this also has touched me . Everyone I am feeling happy , and I am happy who I am ….timzauto